I don't mean to toot my own horn.. burst my own bubble.. but seriously, i have exceptional taste in music. for those that really know me inside out, you know that i'm very personal when it comes to my liking for music. i wouldn't exactly say i have an ecclectic taste [personally, that's just a nice way of putting "i listen to everything" or "i don't know what's really good, so i just listen to whatevers out there"]. however, i am quite knowledgeable of songs of various genres. i am very surprising; for instance, i'll listen to a song and someone who really knows that type of music would be amazed that i've even heard it. it would be a "classic" in their eyes.

as of right now, there are two genres that i'm extremely partial to and that encompass my overall style [in the way that i party, dress, associate with, etc.]: alternative/indie [which i know can include a lot of things] & hip hop [mostly old school]. two genres of which are constantly misconcepted all the time.

for instance, let me explore my taste in alternative/indie/ambient/new wave/electronica/experimental.. it can really expand. now, people who are ignorant of this style constantly assume i'm emo or punk. get it through your heads!! i hate new found glory, i don't go to warped tour, i don't bang my head, i don't slit my wrists, i don't dress like it either! i understand it's lack of better words for you, but if you don't know, then you don't know. don't try. it's insulting to try and classify me as something that i'm not, especially when you have no fucking idea what the hell it is! if you listen to 2pac, i wouldn't say you're a gangster. far from it, most likely. would you know who tilly and the walls are? sigor ros? frou frou? new order? broken social scene? theivery corporation? if no.. then STFU. if yes, come talk to me.

now, in the realm of hip hop. mostly i'm into old school hip hop. i've grown up to it, so for me it serves as sentimental value.. but as aside from that, it's also a culture [yes a culture, not gangster rap idiots!] that i've grown increasingly intersted in and a style that turns me on in all areas it comprises [dance, music, threads, visual art]. hip hop is movement that has evolved so much from it's origins. it promotes stability and longevity to be prosperous in the future. in no way is it an example of getting bitches, slapping hoes, being pimps, getting shot up, doing time, or any of that nonsense bullshit.. that's called "gangster rap." that, i despise and can't stand listening to. true hip hop is not played on the radio, not because of explicit or racey/sexual content, but because in evokes political consciousness, life struggles, and power. it's various means of expression are engaging.. from b-boys, to the popping, threads, to grafiti art, photgraphy, and paintings. it digs deep to its roots and culture to provide an expanded knowledge of it's history and origins. who cares if someone's been shot 9 times and lived to rap about it? so what if someone keeps his bitches in check? so what if you got hoes and you're a player? in all honestly, i've never really understood it fully and i haven't thought of it so extently as a form of political expression. i was always however fond of new edition, pm dawn, fugees, pharcyde.. etc. i'm not saying i represent hip hop [i'm more so of the other genre] or i come from a position that makes me that much credible, but to say that hip hop is rap, or that it's not a true form of music is a mistake.

i hate people coming up to me and asking me what song i'm listening to. not because i want to be a dick and keep it from you, but it's just so personal to me. i feel people just hear a "good" song and want to be the next person that knows this good song. if i give you songs, it's because i know you have a true liking and passion for it and i want to share what i know. i don't jump on any bandwagon, so please don't hop on mine. i especially hate it when people claim a genre like it's something trendy or in. it's people like that that discredit it. don't fake the funk.

sandra was saying in the kitchen about an hour ago something along the lines of , "who majors in film during college?" come to think of it.. though it is a very credible field, film seems more a hobby to me. which makes me doubt my major option: tv production. i was discussing w/ my mom in the car about grad school and how i want to major in something completely unrelated to my field, such as english literature, psychology.. or even environmental science. i know i'm indecisive about what i want to do in life let alone a career, but at the same time i don't want to treat majoring like a buffet where i just pick and choose.. drop majors.. which would make me stay in school much longer.. of course, i want to do something i would enjoy, and i do enjoy multimedia and programming of some sort (pretty much something that puts me in a facilitative position), but i also want to do something with much integrity and honor. i've always said i wanted to help people, and i'm not so sure that multimedia really allows me to in the extent i intend to.. i know this all sounds like a salad bowl of rambling; i suppose that my heart and head are at battle. do i choose what i enjoy doing and make good money? or go for something that makes me feel noble that probably wont place me so high up the economic ladder? it's probably not even that big of a deal.. mom said whatever field i get into, i'll always have an opportunity to help others and humanitarian efforts, and every field challenges my ethics.. not everyone is going to like what you do. i can't event write a blog with allocated paragraphs!! goodness... that's how much my mind is in a scramble. i apologize.. basically, i'm faced w/ the decision of sticking to something i like during undergrad and grad school and get done early, or i double major/minor/take something completely different in grad school, which will put me back a little.. sooner or later i'll figure it out.

it has been requested by a friend of mine that i continue writing blogs.. so here goes it. i finally released myself from xanga, too. y'happy now conor?

as the night of UPC's Student Film Showcase approaches, i find myself filled with increasingly more apprehension. i know i'm the only one bringing this upon myself, but i can't help but feel pressure to have a successful event with good attendance since this is the first film fest UPC's had in a long while. all the events i've put on for UPC have been relatively simple and this is my first big one. it hasn't helped that people don't respond to things as fast or fall through on me at the last minute, or that i'm not sure if UPC has enough funds to pay for the whole event, but i'm still trucking. i'm determined to make this a success.

csun is a school that doesn't necessarily lack in school spirit [although it does seem that way], but it seems that students almost can't find a reason to commute to school and home and then come back for campus programming events. i've been to other campuses and noticed how every building is utilized and every event pulls attendance in the 100s easily. it is my goal to make it that way for campus programming next year. i've always thought my college experience has been half full and isn't fully what i expected it to be. transferring was an option [possibly still is]. however, i am one voice that can influence the way things are done. things need to be done bigger and better as far as campus programming goes! i want students to see that the greek system isn't the only mean of interacting w/ others or attending social events. as a student, your dues goes towards campus programming and they should get more out of what they pay for.

starting something that hasn't been done in a while and targetting a pretty closed off market audience [film students], i'm proud that i'm at least getting somewhere. i just wish things were a lot easier right now, but i suppose i'm still learning and next year i will definitely know more ofhow things are run.

with all this said, i invite you all [especially csun students] to attend UPC's Student Film Showcase: Wednesday, April 26th at 7pm in the USU Theatre on Cal State Northridge Campus (18111 Nordhoff street, Northridge CA 91330)